Why Won’t These Thoughts Go Away? A Practical Guide to Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking
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“What would happen if I swerved onto the pavement and ran over those people?”
It’s a horrifying thought and it’s one that many people have had, completely uninvited and seemingly out of nowhere.
According to intrusivethoughts.org, 4 out of 5 people experience intrusive thoughts at some point in their lives. These thoughts are often violent, disturbing, or totally out of character and yet, they’re surprisingly common.
So why do they feel so awful?
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Because they clash with who you are.
Psychologists call this egodystonic thinking: when a thought contradicts your values and identity. The distress it causes is not a warning that you’re dangerous but quite the opposite: it’s a sign that the thought doesn’t belong.
This is very different from cases where someone agrees with or accepts the thought as justified which can happen in rare circumstances, but that’s not what this blog is about.
Intrusive thoughts can also be a feature of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is a diagnosed condition where these unwanted thoughts are followed by mental or behavioural rituals (compulsions) to try and neutralise them.
However, having intrusive thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean you have OCD. Many people experience them without meeting the criteria for a diagnosis. Whether they appear as part of OCD or on their own, the strategies for working with them often begin in the same place: understanding how they work and learning new ways to relate to them.
Disclaimer:
If you're concerned that your intrusive thoughts may be part of OCD, it's worth speaking to your GP. While GPs don't formally diagnose OCD, they can assess your symptoms and refer you to NHS mental health services for further support if needed. That being said, wait times can vary, and many people choose to start therapy privately while waiting for an assessment. A formal diagnosis isn’t required to begin working with intrusive thoughts in therapy.
Intrusive thoughts are one of the most common hidden struggles people carry. In this blog, I want to shed some light on what they are, how they feed into overthinking (also known as rumination), and share four genuinely helpful ways to loosen their grip, especially if you're navigating this on your own.
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What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
We all have thousands of thoughts every day. Some drift in and out without notice and some linger. A small percentage arrive with surprising intensity, that they stop us in our tracks.
These are called intrusive thoughts and they feel like they came from nowhere, that are out of sync with your values, and that often bring a sense of fear, shame, or confusion.
They might sound like:
· “What if I pushed someone off this balcony?”
· “What if I accidentally blurt something offensive in public?”
· “What if I’m secretly attracted to someone I shouldn’t be?”
· “What if I left the oven on and the house burns down?”
Sometimes they’re violent, sometimes sexual, sometimes irrational, but they all have one thing in common: they’re unwanted.
And because they feel so wrong, we tend to respond with almost equal and opposite intensity.
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How Rumination Starts
When a thought disturbs us, our natural reaction is often to try to think our way out of it. We might:
· Reassure ourselves we’d never act on it
· Go over past events to check if something is “wrong” with us
· Mentally argue with the thought or try to push it away
This process is called rumination which is a kind of mental looping where we go back and forth, trying to cancel out the thought or make sense of why it appeared in the first place.
At first, it can feel like problem-solving. But over time, it only makes the thought louder.
Approaching these kinds of thoughts with logic often has the paradoxical effect of reinforcing them. Like trying not to think about a pink elephant: the more effort you put in, the more present it becomes.
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What Can You Do Instead?
If you’re trying to fight, fix, or understand intrusive thoughts it only makes them louder.
It’s like trying to argue with the universe: see if it cares.
The key is to change your relationship with the thought, rather than change the thought itself.
Acknowledging that these are intrusive thoughts will always be the preamble. If you can do that, you are halfway there because when they happen we get so wrapped up in them that we lose sight of what’s normal and what isn’t.
Instead of arguing, analysing, or pushing it away, these four approaches are designed to help you soften your grip, reduce the power of the thought (not through active compression of the thought but through empowering yourself), and direct yourself toward what actually matters to you.
They are not quick fixes by any means but, when practised consistently, they can help loosen the spiral and give you more breathing room inside your own mind, and a pause may be all you need which is certainly an improvement from aimless rumination.
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1. Interrupt the Thought Loop with a Surprising Task
When your brain gets stuck in a thought loop, doing something novel or unusual can jolt it out of autopilot. Not with avoidance, but with pattern disruption.
For example:
· Try sorting dry rice into two bowls with a spoon.
· Walk around the house narrating everything you see in a different accent.
· Clench and release different muscle groups in an intentionally odd order.
In other words, be silly. Intrusive thoughts thrive on fear, urgency, and predictability. Doing something unexpected engages different neural pathways and gives your brain a new focus. I should also mention please not to do anything dangerous.
2. Casting “Riddikulus” on Your Intrusive Thoughts
When an intrusive thought arrives, most people immediately tense up or try to resist it. But what if you noticed it… and made it absurd? Like Neville imagined a scary Professor Snape wearing his grandmother’s clothes.
This is a form of cognitive defusion, a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that creates space between you and your thought. You might try saying:
“Here’s the ‘What if they don’t love me?’ thought, total soap opera energy today.”
“Ah, it’s the ‘You’re a Terrible Person’ thought this time wearing a cowboy hat and riddikulusly flappy chaps.”
You don’t have to voice it out loud, you can use playful imagery and engage with your active imagination, for example hearing the thought as a character like Gollum sputtering about on his hind legs, or if your thought has a story attached with it, rewrite it with a funny ending, like Holly Elmore’s in the link above.
Playfulness interrupts fear. It’s not about laughing at yourself, it’s about stepping back from the thought enough to see that it’s just a mental event. Not a prophecy. Not a command. And to reiterate, this bit is key: you’re not looking to demean or belittle the thought, you’re just elevating yourself above it.
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3. Let the Thought Ride in the Back of the Bus
This metaphor, drawn from ACT, helps you shift your role from fighting the thought to choosing your direction despite it.
Imagine your mind as a bus.
You’re the driver.
The road ahead is what matters to you: your relationships, your growth, your values.
Now, the bus is full of passengers. These are your thoughts, memories, fears.
Some yell at you: “Turn around! You’re not safe! You’ll mess everything up!”
You could stop the bus and argue with them. Which is what you may have been doing before, but you might notice that you’re physically and mentally drained for even engaging in the argument.
Or you could say:
“I hear you… but I’m still driving in the direction that matters to me.”
You don’t need the thoughts to be silent before you take action.
You just need to keep your hands on the wheel, and your foot steady on the accelerator.
This is great for reclaiming agency and recognising that YOU are the driver.
You don’t have to resist (argue) or obey (give in) the thoughts.
It’s assertiveness without being a tyrant.
Emma McAdam does a fantastic job of demonstrating the metaphor.
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4. Do a Frodo: Walk Anyway
Sometimes, there’s nothing left to do but carry the weight and walk.
Towards the end of the Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo faces a hugely existential moment as he stands at the edge of the river, having half a mind to throw the One Ring into the river and be rid of it and let the problem prolong itself or face the insurmountable but NECESSARY task of continuing on his perilous journey to Mordor.
He didn’t wait for his fear to subside.
He pushed the boat out, jumped in and he carried the ring.
The intrusive thoughts and rumination didn’t stop him, they came along for the ride.
This approach isn’t about solving or silencing. It’s about choosing courage over comfort.
“This thought might still be here… but I’m going anyway.”
You may find, in time, that by continuing to walk toward what matters, the thoughts begin to fade. You didn’t force them away, but you stopped FEEDING them.
Tips 3 and 4 are quite similar in nature but there are subtle differences.
The bus driving analogy can help you gain control in the moment, and its core value is “You don’t have to get rid of the thought to act”.
Frodo’s dilemma can help you stay committed on the long road, and its core value is “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s carrying on despite it.”
Did you find these strategies helpful?
If so, I’m here to support you.
Working together relationally, I can help you explore these practices in depth, whether you're struggling with intrusive thoughts, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm.
Feel free to reach out here or book a free 20-minute consultation to see if working together could be right for you.
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Intrusive thoughts can feel like proof that something is wrong with you. However, they are often shame-disguised as mental noise. If you’d like to read more, you may also like:
References
Brock, H., Rizvi, A., & Hany, M. (2024). Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK553162/. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Elmore, H. (2018). Casting “Riddikulus” on intrusive thoughts. Holly Elmore Blog. Available at: https://mhollyelmoreblog.wordpress.com/2018/10/09/casting-riddikulus-on-intrusive-thoughts/. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Foster, B. (2025). Therapy for anxiety: Beyond labels. Ben Foster Therapy. Available at: https://www.benfostertherapy.com/blogs/therapy-for-anxiety-beyond-labels. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Intrusive Thoughts. (n.d.) Intrusive Thoughts. Available at: https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Kaiser, P. (2014). Childhood Anxiety and Psychophysiological Reactivity: Hypnosis to Build Discrimination and Self-Regulation Skills. The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 56, pp. 343-367.
McAdam, E. (2025). How to Stop Fighting Intrusive or Negative Thoughts-Passengers on a Bus Exercise from ACT. [online video]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHOieCU4WQs. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Rose, H. (2022). The Pink Elephant Paradox: how intrusive thoughts impact our emotions and decisions. Ness Labs. Available at: https://nesslabs.com/pink-elephant-paradox. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Stein, M. (2020). Understanding Harm OCD. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-anxious-mind/202005/understanding-harm-ocd. [Accessed: 30 August 2025].
Wegner, D.M., Schneider, D.J., Carter, S.R. 3rd, White, T.L. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 53(1), pp. 5-13.