Have you ever been told you’re “too sensitive”?

Maybe you cry at things others shrug off.

Maybe a raised voice feels like a thunderclap.

Maybe you can’t shake things off the way you’re told you should, told that “you should be more resilient”.

Many people feel this way and it rarely gets spoken out loud, but it’s not something that needs to be fixed. In fact, according to psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), around 15 to 20 percent of people are born with a more sensitive nervous system. Aron showed that this isn’t a flaw, it’s actually more of a temperament and a particular way of being wired.

You Feel Deeply Because You Care Deeply

Elaine Aron’s research into what she calls the HSP suggests that some of us are naturally wired to process more deeply. Sensitive people often notice subtle cues others miss. They can reflect, feel and care more. This can lead to rich inner lives, but it does have its drawbacks of overstimulation, overwhelm and emotional exhaustion.

Aron describes four key traits of sensitivity using the acronym D.O.E.S.:

· Depth of Processing: You reflect deeply before making decisions or moving forward.

· Overstimulation: You may feel frazzled in noisy, chaotic, or fast-paced environments.

· Emotional Responsivity: You react more strongly to both joy and sadness.

· Sensitivity to Subtleties: You notice fine details, body language, tone shifts, or even changes in temperature and lighting.

If this resonates with you, it might help explain why the world can sometimes feel too fast, too loud, or too much.

When Sensitivity Meets Shame

While sensitivity is part of your temperament, the way others respond to it, particularly during childhood, can shape how you see yourself. If your tears were met with "stop overreacting," or if your worries were dismissed, you may have internalised the idea that your emotions are excessive or a burden.

As Aron points out, children who grow up without emotional validation may learn to suppress or mistrust their feelings. Over time, this can lead to shame, similar to Brene Brown’s observations that I mentioned in my low self-worth blog, making many adults describe themselves as "too emotional" or "not resilient enough," when in fact they’ve been managing intense inner experiences without support for years.

Rather than being too much, they may have never been helped to understand how they naturally work.

When It Feels Difficult to Be This Way

The world tends to reward quick responses, emotional detachment, and constant productivity. This aligns with Iain McGilchrist’s observations that modern society increasingly favours the left hemisphere’s mode of abstraction, categorisation, and control at the expense of the right hemisphere’s capacity for relational, embodied, and contextual understanding. For sensitive individuals, who tend to lean into that right-hemisphere way of knowing, this cultural bias can make sensitivity feel like a disadvantage.

You might:

· Avoid conflict because it lingers long after it’s over.

· Feel knocked sideways by criticism or harsh feedback.

· Take longer to recover from social events or overstimulating days.

· Struggle in relationships or workplaces where there is little time to reflect or process.

These behaviours reflect a greater reliance on right-hemisphere modes of experience which can feel burdensome in environments that don’t support them.

In other words, these experiences do not mean there is something wrong with you. They may simply be signs that your nervous system functions best in calmer, more thoughtful spaces.

What Sensitivity Might Look Like in Counselling and Hypnotherapy

Therapy can be one of the first places where your emotional sensitivity is welcomed rather than managed. For highly sensitive people, it offers:

· A slower pace that allows for deeper processing.

· Permission to explore emotions fully, without being told to "get over it".

· The experience of being listened to with genuine care and attention.

· Engaging in a focussed and relaxed state to explore underlying emotions, beliefs, and memories that may feel harder to access in everyday life.

In therapy, sensitivity is not seen as an obstacle. It becomes a path into greater self-awareness and healing.

Honouring Sensitivity in Everyday Life

If you’ve spent your life trying to tone down your feelings, which is like trying to argue against the universe, here are a few ways to begin honouring them instead:

· Name your experience: Putting words to emotions helps them feel more manageable and understood.

· Build space around interactions: Give yourself time to reflect before responding, especially in emotionally charged moments.

· Choose environments that suit you better: Whether it’s softer lighting, quieter spaces, or more flexible routines, small adjustments can make a difference.

Recognise the value of your sensitivity: You may be more intuitive, observant, or emotionally attuned and these are qualities that are often underappreciated.

Final Thoughts: Making Room for Who You Are

Aron’s work invites a more compassionate perspective on sensitivity. The aim is not to become less sensitive, but to create a life that acknowledges and respects how you are naturally built.

If you’ve been carrying the weight of being “too much,” therapy can offer a space to soften that story and reconnect with your emotional depth. There is no standard way of living to comply to, only more supportive ways to care for yourself.

If any of this resonates, I’d warmly invite you to book a discovery call. You deserve a life where your emotional world is met with understanding.

Book a Discovery Call

Sensitivity is often labelled as weakness, but it’s usually shame making you feel “too much.” If this resonates, you may also like:

When You Feel Like You’re Not Enough: How Hypnotherapy Helps Rebuild Self-Worth

What If I’m Just Lazy? Understanding the Shame Behind Stuckness

References

Aron, E. (1999). The Highly Sensitive Person: How to thrive when the world overwhelms you. London: Thorsons.

Brown, B. (2015). Daring Greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York: Penguin Life.

Foster, B. (2025). Therapy for anxiety: Beyond labels. Ben Foster Therapy. Available at: https://www.benfostertherapy.com/blogs/therapy-for-anxiety-beyond-labels. [Accessed: 27 September 2025].

McGilchrist, I. (2019). The Master and His Emissary. Yale University Press.

Why Am I So Emotionally Sensitive?